The Complete Guide on How to Begin Self Care
Every Mom by now has heard about the power of self care and why it is so important. But has anyone ever really told you how to implement self care when your a busy mom?
Or even when you feel undeserving of it and incapable of prioritizing it?
Just not doing it at all is not the answer, knowing a few quick and easy tips on how you can get started might be just the extra help you need.
Keep in mind, self care is not a one size fits all kind of thing. Every Mama has to find their groove and what resonates with them. So try not to compare, and do not believe that if you can’t fit in that long candlelit bath like other moms then you are doomed.
I totally got you Mama!
Benefits of Self Care
Practicing and implementing self care into your life as a lifestyle has many benefits. Research has shown it can improve your mental, emotional and physical well being, improve relationships you have with others and set a good standard for your children. There is just so much power in self care as a mom
Self Care enhances your overall well being
- It can help you fight off depression, reduce or eliminate stress and anxiety. It can serve as an emotional outlet for you and help you regulate, process and balance your emotions
- Self Care can help you cope with challenges or tough situations and can help you heal from some of your past traumas and experiences
- It can help you begin to find yourself or find your way when you are feeling lost as a woman or mom by boosting your confidence and your self-worth
- Self care can help you uncover your passions, interests, skills and talents and boost your creativity. Leading you to explore the unknown and step out of your comfort zone
- It can help you create or break old habits and positively change your behaviors
- Implementing self care can help you live a healthier life psychically and mentally. Moms who prioritize self care may experience fewer stress-related health issues
- Practicing self care can boost your productivity. You are not only more excited to wake up and seize the day and get things done but you are better equipped to complete tasks or projects.
Self Care is a great way to role model positive behaviors
- Moms who practice self care regularly set a positive example for their children
- It teaches children the importance of loving yourself and nurturing yourself
- It teaches them to have and set boundaries so they themselves don’t get taken advantage of or become burnt out
- Self care teaches children to stand up for themselves and understand they are the ones who determine their own self worth
- Trying new things when you practice self care teaches them to be brave and approach life with an openness
- Prioritizing self care shows your children that mom was happy and despite all the challenges you went through you remained happy by implementing your own self care
- Lastly, it teaches them you are capable of taking care of yourself and your responsibilities and you do not have to sacrifice one or the other to get both done
Self Care improves your relationships with others
- When moms are emotionally and physically well, they are able to better emotionally and psychically and mentally care for their loved ones
- You can actually nurture your connections and grow stronger bonds with your family more effectively and easily
- Practicing self care allows you to genuinely enjoy being around others because you enjoy yourself
- It allows you to recognize and appreciate the beauty and uniqueness of others a lot more when you are at peace with yourself
- Self care can help you learn to accept others for who they are, in all their flaws and still love them. Because when you prioritize your own self care, you have to figure out the same. How can you still be happy even as you are a work in progress
- Self care can prevent you from having resentment or jealousy towards others
Even, with all of these benefits, there are obviously still a ton more reasons why self care is important and how it can change or benefit your life.
Now, lets get started implementing self care
Step 1: Become Aware of Your Current Routine
As always, you must first become aware of your current actions, behaviors and self care routine.
Do you even have one or do you rush through your own personal care to get back to your children? Which was exactly what I did, scarfing down food, barely doing my hair, breaking world records for the quickest shower and hair wash, etc.
Begin to become aware of how you treat yourself, how much time are you spending on yourself. Acknowledge all the things you are currently doing with and for yourself and just how you overall care for yourself. Knowing that information is going to be crucial in you being able to change.
Write those areas down in a notebook or Self Care Workbook so you can keep track of your actions and serve as a mental reminder for yourself when you are steering off track.
Step 2: Brainstorm Your Self Care Goals
Create a list of things you already love doing. Hopefully you remember that. If not take some time and remember all the things you used to love doing. Rediscovering yourself sometimes is not an easy task but it is a necessary one.
- Create a list of things you love doing
- Create a list of things you might love doing but never done
- Create a list of things you never done and never thought about doing
You will use this list to slowly build out 2 things-
A Self Care Bucket List with a deadline for you to tackle in the dedicated time frame &
A Non Negotiable List that is a list of self care goals that are a part of your lifestyle now or you need them to be in order for you to be happy.
Note: (a non negotiable item is something you are no longer willing to give up because it is the one thing or multiple things that rejuvenates and replenishes your mind body or spirit.
Step 3: Time Block
Begin looking over your schedule, for some pockets or moments of time or tasks that can be changed, moved around or eliminated.
Waking up 30 mins to an hour earlier works wonders for many moms. Staying up late also works for many moms who are night owls, or moms who don’t have morning as an option.
I do a combination of both, depending on the phase of life my children are in. Sometimes, they wake up early, and although mornings are preferred for me, they are just not an option when they wake early. Other times, they sleep like angels and I can wake up at 5am to get done a heap of things before they wake around 6:30-7am.
It just depends on your lifestyle and the current season your family is in. I don’t sacrifice or give up my self care, for the most part I just adjust it.
Don’t fret either if there are times that you don’t want to adjust. If your non negotiables are not movable. That is totally ok too, in that case your family will just adjust and it does not make you selfish or a bad mom.
Keeping a visual track of your self care progress with a self care tracker can be a fun way to help engrain it as a natural part of your lifestyle.
Step 4: Begin the Discussion with Your Family
Begin discussing with your children especially, and your family how Mom needs to take care of herself the same way she takes care of them. Depending on their age of course they may not understand, but being consistent is key.
Overtime, children will learn, understand and appreciate routine and consistency. Especially if you have the conversation with them ahead of time.
Try to prepare them ahead of time when it is time for you to leave or tend to yourself.
Never just leave or sneak out. They need to understand and visually see Mom doing something for herself that makes her happy. Even if it breaks your heart as they cry or show their displeasure, you are setting a standard for yourself and for them to imitate as they grow older.
I know it breaks my heart but I try to remember that I am not taking me away from them, but only giving them back a better me. Overtime, implementing self care will definitely get easier for both you and your children.
Step 5: Include Your Children
Now, don’t get me wrong I am for sure not saying to include your children into every aspect or even your most important and non negotiable self care routine. Bottom line is: it’s for you.
But what I am saying is you can include them in some other aspect of self care, or certain parts of it or even create an additional self care goal that is strictly just for you and them to do together. Doing this will help them not dread “moms self care” but respect it and appreciate it.
This is crucial especially for those moms without a support system. You don’t just not do it, you figure out a way through it.
When I needed to shower and dad was not home, I would bring out the boys special shower toys. Now these toys are new toys specifically for when mom needs a minute. No other time can they play with them.
They are toys I know will grab their attention for an extended period of time and have them engaged and interested. I would put it right in the bathroom with me and have a nice shower while they play on the floor happily.
I even knew a mom who before having kids never missed her weekly massage appointment. And after she had her son, guess what…you guessed it, she still never missed. She brought him right along and set up his playpen right next to her massage chair and would get her massage. She made sure to still tend to herself and her needs. That was her non negotiable.
You can always get them an exercise mat and put it right next to yours while working out, or have a nail painting party and bring them along, or teach them how to meditate, or let them color while you journal.
There are so many different and creative ways you can still incorporate certain pieces of self care for yourself and have your child right along with you. Making them feel special in the process.
Step 6: Be Consistent & Adamant
Consistency is one of the most important elements of your self care routine. A one time practice of self care is not going to reap you or your family the benefits you deserve.
Once you created a time slot for your self care goals, try to be consistent in completing it, even if the time or day needs to be adjusted. Let everyone know that it is still a priority.
Be mindful of how you say things but be adamant on what you say. Stand strong on your non negotiables, I am sure your husband or partner has their share of self care items or goals they partake in and it is a necessity for you to have yours.
Explain that in order for you to be happy, healthy and run this household efficiently you need to take care of a few things for yourself.
Summary on implementing self care into your life
Remember that implementing self care into your life is what saves you from being burnt out as a mom. It may be challenging when you don’t know where to start, are too busy or deem yourself undeserving.
But it can easily be done with a few tips and minutes out of your day. Prioritizing your own self care fosters a healthier, happier and more loving environment for yourself and your family.
Motherhood is a tough journey, full of obstacles, challenging moments and rollercoaster emotions, it’s a journey that can take so much from you and out of you.
Luckily, with self care you can put some of it back. Practicing self care will restore, recharge and rejuvenate your overall well being, so you can live a life you are happy to live.
