Practical Yet Empowering Steps to Rediscover Your Identity When You Feel Lost
Have you ever looked in the mirror and did not recognize yourself? Feeling like you lost yourself or let yourself go. Well, you are not alone Mama.
Speaking from experience, it is one of the worst feelings a mom can experience. Looking in the mirror wondering who that woman is and where is that woman who was full of life, vibrant, strong and confident.
Although losing yourself is one of the worst feelings, it can also be an empowering feeling. Being able to even recognize and accept the fact that you have lost yourself puts you in a great position. A position of change. A position to rebuild yourself to a woman you wish you had been the whole time.
This exciting self awareness and realization, makes rediscovering your identity not only possible but essential for your well being and the well being of your family.
What Happened?
The constant demands of motherhood such as caring for children, managing a household and juggling numerous responsibilities often leaves moms feeling like they let themselves go or lost themselves in the process.
Most of the time your own personal well being, needs, wants and dreams are unintentionally put on hold while you care for everything and everyone else. Mothers tend to forget and not do things that made them happy or feel whole inside. Sometimes, even things as simple as having time to sit down and enjoy your dinner, or taking a few minutes to brush your hair and put on makeup get altered or eliminated in all.
It is the belief that you are being the perfect mother by prioritizing others and getting everything done in the house.
But, this self sacrifice over time can lead to a lost sense of self and disconnect from the person you once were or want to be.
Finding yourself again is not an act of selfishness but an act of self preservation. Your journey of rediscovery will allow you to become a happier, more positive and fulfilled mom. And when you are, your entire family benefits.
The Process to Rediscover Your Identity During Motherhood
Step 1: Unlock Your Potential With Self Care
Step 2: Uncover Your Passions, Skills & Talents
Step 3: Reframe, Redefine & Recreate
Step 4: Be of Service & Reclaim Your Power
"NEVER BE AFRAID TO FALL APART, BECAUSE IT IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO REBUILD YOURSELF THE WAY YOU WISH YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN ALL ALONG.
Take Charge & Rediscover Your Identity
1. Unlock Your Potential With Self Care
Mothers are filled with hidden untapped potential. Most times completely unaware of it all because they are too busy caring for everyone. Running after, cleaning after, looking after the entire family, you are unable to see the value in yourself.
Which is my point exactly. All the different roles you play on a regular day to day basis proves just how much potential you have. Even if in some of those roles or responsibilities are still flawed and there is room for improvement; just the fact alone that you handle it all shows the enormous amount of potential you possess.
Because honestly, let’s face it, although some dads are great and truly needed in a family, they are not the same.
The struggle is that your hidden potential is usually buried by not only your daily responsibilities and duties as a mother but also the lack of taking that necessary time to nurture yourself.
SELF CARE
When we hear the word self care we believe it doesn’t apply to us or that we simply don’t have the time for it.
But just as we create time to clean the bathrooms, get the laundry done, bathe the kids, cook dinner, go to work, put the kids to bed and so much more. We can create the time for ourselves as well.
Put in a different way, you take the time out of your busy schedule to care for your home or your car so that it can operate smoothly and run more efficiently for you. You try to minimize wear and tear so it doesn’t get burnt out.
Well the same applies for you!
It is necessary for you to either find the time, or create the time to tend to and minimize wear and tear on your mind, body and spirit so that you don’t experience burnout and you can operate more smoothly, efficiently and happily.
The saying you cant pour from an empty cup is a real thing. It is not just a cute saying. If you fill your cup up first, you will then have enough, to not even have to pour into another cup. Your’s will be overflowing.
When you fill your cup up with love, patience, kindness, respect, appreciation, generosity, positivity, and happiness. Your cup will overflow and begin to flow into your children, spouse and the rest of your family uplifting and inspiring everyone around you.
Making self care a priority and non negotiable aspect of your life, will also set a powerful example for your children. Teaching them that it is not only okay to pour into themselves but it is essential for a balanced, meaningful and happier life.
Implementing self care and self love helps you discover yourself and explore yourself in different ways. You will find out new information about yourself that you never were aware of, unlocking your potential, opening up new doors and remembering your unique identity.
"SELF CARE IS GIFTING THE WORLD WHATS BEST OF YOU, NOT WHATS LEFT OF YOU
Step 2. Uncover Your Passion
Once you begin pouring into yourself and making self care a priority you will begin reigniting your old passions or uncovering new ones that you never knew existed.
Your passions are more than just an interest or hobby. They are strong, powerful desires that’s kind of like compasses helping guide you through life, giving your life a sense of understanding and joy.
Passions can drive you to achieve your goals with energy and excitement, and motivates you to persevere through obstacles and bounce back from adversity.
They might even change over time as you learn and grow and continue to pour into yourself. You might find you have more than one and that is perfectly fine.
I love singing, absolutely love turning up the music in the car or shower and jamming out to Beyonce (Sorry, thats my girl). That is a passion of mine and although I truly believe I sound absolutely wonderful. I just may be the only person, so with that said no, you do not have to be amazing at it in order for it to be a passion.
But there are many people who have figured out how to turn their passions into professions and that is one of the best ways to live a satisfying life in my opinion. Many others choose to keep it as a hobby, the important part is that you uncover those passions and know what they are.
While practicing your self care, begin to listen to your inner voice. Keep an open mind as you explore your past passions, interests, strengths, skills and talents. Sometimes even your childhood interests can hold clues to your passions.
While exploring past passions, acknowledge and be aware of what could be new ones. Step out of your comfort zone and try new things. You just never know, you could stumble upon your passion when you least expect it.
Uncovering your passion and what you do with it, is what is going to help you rediscover yourself, light the fire under you and make life that much more meaningful and exciting.
"JUST BECAUSE YOUR LIFE CHANGES, DOESNT MEAN THAT YOUR PASSIONS HAVE TO
3. Reframe Your Mindset, Redefine Your Goals & Recreate Your Life
After you have, prioritized self care and uncovered your passions you can then move on to redefining your goals and recreating the life you want to live.
It is extremely important to pay attention to your current mindset, because we want to recreate a positive and happy life. Not recreate the same version of current selves. Because I am sure you have heard by now, that what you think is what you get. We want to recreate a better and higher version of our current selves.
To do that you must begin working on changing your mindset if you haven’t already. Rephrase those negative self-limiting beliefs and train your mind to adopt more positive and desirable ones before recreating your life and redefining your goals.
Now I am sure as a mom, before beginning your self discovery journey, your goals were probably taking a nice long shower, washing, drying and folding laundry in one day, or using the bathroom in peace. But now that you are beginning your journey let’s extend those goals well past your responsibilities as a mom.
Because you are now equipped with the tools to begin peeling off those layers of your old yourself, you can create goals that are a bit more life changing and satisfying.
Begin thinking about your overall life’s vision. What do you really want it to look like. What do you want to have accomplished by then, where do you want to be and what do you want to be doing and with whom.
Journal your current and future thoughts. Write down where you are now in life and write down your vision. Try to memorize it if possible because this will become your guiding light and motivator to keep pushing forward.
It will also be inspiring to look back and reflect on how far you have come and how close you are to achieving your life’s vision.
Create a vision board to serve as a visual reminder of the life you want to live.
"IF YOU DON'T MAKE TIME TO WORK ON CREATING THE LIFE YOU WANT, YOUR EVENTUALLY GOING TO BE FORCED TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME DEALING WITH A LIFE YOU DON'T WANT"
4. Reclaim Your Power
You are finally at the last phase of the self discovery process, but not the last phase of your life. After this, is actually when your life really begins.
It is at this point that you truly take back control and power of your life and deem yourself worthy of all the success, abundance and prosperity coming to you.
This is the step where you extend your hand outward and begin using either your new found knowledge, skill, passion or interest to help change someone else’s life. Whether they are just a step behind you or yards behind you. You reclaim your power and give your life purpose when you are able to help someone in need.
There are so many different forms of helping and serving, so find some that resonates with you so it is pure and genuine. Inspiring, encouraging, giving, donating, volunteering, listening, servicing, sacrificing, sharing, lending, offering, teaching, the list goes on. Paying it forward comes in many different ways, types, shapes, sizes and forms.
If you have ever read the “Go Giver”, then you know exactly what I am talking about. It is an absolute must read.
The joy and satisfaction that you receive when you help someone else after you have found yourself is what brings your life to a full circle. Your journey into rediscovering yourself becomes complete once you reclaim your power by lending a helping hand.
"THE BEST WAY TO FIND YOURSELF IS TO LOSE YOURSELF IN THE SERVICE OF OTHERS"
Conclusion
Rediscovering your identity is a journey and process but it is one worth taking.
Unlocking your full potential with prioritizing self care, realizing your self worth and practicing self love and compassion is such a crucial first step in the process. It enables you to uncover your passions, interests, skills and talents so that you can begin envisioning and creating the life you always wanted to live.
Once you know who you are and what makes you happy, you can then begin to make others happy. Understanding your purpose by helping others is where you will truly reclaim a power you may never knew you had.
Finding yourself again is not discarding who you have become, it is about reconnecting with the essence of who you are, deep inside and embracing that woman.
Accept yourself for all your flaws and understand you are a work in progress to be the best you, not a perfect you.
As you embark on this journey to rediscovering your true identity, be patient and kind with yourself and know you are not alone in this. For this journey will become one of your most prized and cherished treasures for years to come.
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