Understanding Self Care & How It Can Improve Your Life
It is so unfortunate that most times in the midst of caring for our families we forget and overlook the most important person of all: Ourselves.
As the heart and soul of the family, it is essential for you to not only survive but to thrive and it begins with you understanding the power of self care.
The never-ending and constant demands of motherhood can leave you feeling overwhelmed, stressed, unappreciated, lost, guilty, like you let yourself go and just plain ole not beautiful anymore.
And with all that going on, from my own experience, it surely is an easy trap to fall into.
But, The good news is that you actually possess the power to successfully overcome all of those feelings. Nurturing your mind, body and spirit does not take away from your family but gives back to them.
The Power of Self Care
Self Care allows you to connect with yourself and make space for yourself to be loved, cared for, appreciated and adorned in a way only you can do.
Dedicating that time to tend to your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well being will ensure you are better equipped and prepared to take on the daily demands of motherhood.
By recharging your battery you become a much more pleasant, peaceful and happier mom. And let’s face it, don’t we all want our kids to view us in that light, as opposed to the frustrated mom who is always yelling.
Practicing self care can help you regulate your emotions and mental health so you don’t feel overwhelmed, overstimulated, overburdened and overextended eventually leading to feelings of being burnt out.
And believe me, although not impossible, bouncing back from that is so much harder than just incorporating self care into your life.
It is a fact that most moms strive to be perfect mothers. It’s like silently our one golden rule.
However, it stands the test of time that the one thing that will enable us to be the greatest mom (notice I did not say perfect) is the very one thing we tend not to do for so many reasons.
Not only does setting aside time in your busy schedule to care for yourself, show you how important you are, it shows others as well.
When you choose to love yourself and nurture yourself. YOU determine your own worth and set a clear example of how you expect others to treat you as well.
It Starts With Self Awareness
Juggling multiple responsibilities, managing a household and caring for children is time consuming and demanding in itself and believe me I get it.
But at the same time, we naturally choose to put those things ahead of ourselves and don’t even realize it sometimes. We unintentionally neglect ourselves and believe we are doing what is right for our family.
But doing what is right for your family is making sure you take the time to nurture and care for yourself. In order to do that, we must first be aware of our behaviors and actions.
The day I realized I lost myself, was a pivotal moment for me and my family. I began paying attention to how it happened and why it happened because I was genuinely confused.
I believed I was doing everything right by putting my family first and sacrificing myself.
I remember when I would need to take a shower and I would ask Dad to watch the boys, I would rush in and out the shower so quickly. I would take extremely quick showers so that I could get back to Mommying and did not miss anything in case they needed me.
Of course it was my own issues that I needed to overcome because every time, the boys would be just fine.
At the time, that was pretty much was the story of my life. Brushing my teeth, combing my hair if I even did it at all was a quick 1-2-3 thing and done.
But what I didn’t realize was that I was taking away all of the love, care, attention and respect that my mind and body deserved. Especially after both work so hard all day, everyday for me.
As I began understanding the power of self care, I was able to slowly tweak certain aspects and areas of my life to include appreciating and applauding myself for all that I do.
As a mom, you must work to train yourself to be more present with yourself, more in the moment appreciating yourself. Nurturing your mind body and spirit so that it can nurture you in return.
With your conscious efforts, and now being fully aware of yourself, you can begin implementing small but powerful strategies to make self care a necessity and ultimately begin changing your life.
Overcome the guilt
Moms, I understand that sometimes you may feel extremely guilty when it comes to self care like it takes away from your family. Or feeling like you don’t want to miss anything and that you are there when they need you.
Especially when your child or spouse may vividly display their dislike for it.
When you truly realize the power of self care, you realize and embrace the fact that you are not taking their mom away, but giving them back a better one.
A more rejuvenated and recharged one, a less cranky, snappy one and a more at peace and well balanced one. I am sure your partner or spouse would appreciate that as well.
Recognize and understand that by taking care of yourself, you become a better woman and a better mom and those are certainly the goals.
Although we all at times feel guilty for different reasons, try not to allow mom guilt to hinder you too much and learn how to navigate such a strong emotion.
What self care is not
When we hear of the word self care, we immediately think of the luxurious activities that come with it, that most moms don’t have time for.
Or we think it is moms being selfish or a luxury that many are not entitled to. It is neither selfish or a luxury but, a necessity.
Of course, absolutely, being able to take a nice, long, uninterrupted, candlelit bath, with a glass of wine and a good book, sounds and feels luxurious which is where the luxury idea stems from.
But that certainly is not the only way to practice self care.
Self care is not the same for everyone, and there is no one rule or norm that you must adhere to. It will look slightly different or drastically different for each and every mom and that surely is ok.
Understand that self care also includes activities that do not appear to be as luxurious but are just as if not more meaningful sometimes.
What self care is
Exercising, journaling, meditating, spending time with yourself, sleeping, gardening, painting, reading, breathing, listening to music, praying, eating healthy, traveling, brunch with the girls, and so much more are all different forms of self care.
Taking your time to eat your food, brush your teeth, floss, shower, do your hair or makeup are simpler forms but crucial forms of self care.
It is mostly about reserving the opportunity to connect with yourself and do the things that make you happy on the inside. Respecting, appreciating and loving your mind, body and spirit for all that it does for you and nurturing it in return.
It does not have to be a long drawn out process, or an entire day unless of course that is what you want. Which is 100% okay too. It is whatever you make it and want it to be and it just might be different each time you do it.
Just remember implementing self care is all about finding activities, practices and routines that replenish your spirit and make you feel happy or good about yourself or overall life.
Believing the power of self care and treating it as a lifestyle change and not a phase can heal, recharge and rejuvenate your mind body and spirit.
Final Thoughts
Incorporating and prioritizing self care into your life may seem challenging when you don’t know where to start, but start small and simple and make caring for yourself fun.
Remember, self care comes in many different forms; and looks totally different for each Mom depending on the phase of life you are in. What may look or sound good to one Mom just might not be the thing that you resonate with or fits into your schedule and routine.
Explore all the different things you can do to make sure you are taken care of first.
Do not neglect yourself striving to be the perfect mom but instead love and nurture yourself so you can be a better you and a better mom.
Once you see the power of self care, prioritizing, and implementing it into your life will begin to come naturally. Self care will be the one driving force that changes you and your family’s life.
